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Both needs and a sense of belonging are very important for every person. The sense of belonging is a basic human need. When we were still fetuses in our mother's womb, we could already start to feel whether we are welcomed and accepted. This forms how we interpret and deal with our own needs in the future. When a person's needs were not fulfilled in early life, it would often lead to feelings of insecurity. These insecurities would affect future development, such as emotional regulation, interpersonal relationships, and self-protective mechanisms.
The most common situation is where one did not have a sense of belonging in their childhood, and felt that the environment was unfriendly and the world was unsafe. As a result, they put up emotional walls to distance themselves from others, leading to strained family relationships or difficulties in developing intimate relationships. Also, it can also drive them to push themselves harder to become perfect, as they feel that they have to prove themselves in order to be loved and accepted. No matter which scenario it becomes, it will bring about unnecessary pressure in life. It can cause emotional imbalance in the long run, and affect one’s physical health, immunity and the ability to self-heal.
Although our needs and sense of belonging are very important to us, most people do not realize how they affect our lives, as this is something we experience and develop from a very young age. Once we reach adulthood, most people tend to view these affected states as inherent traits, personality flaws, or deficiencies in character.
However, as long as we have correct guidance and awareness, as well as practice proper techniques on how to release negative thought patterns, we can actually rebuild our sense of security and readjust our internal and physical response mechanisms. Eventually, this can allow the shadows of these early traumas to disappear, letting us regain balance and happiness in life.