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The Five Laws of Relationships (2)

2. The Law of Order

Respect the order of seniority; everyone has the right to belong.

In the systems we inhabit, the family system is the closest to us. The order and position of every member within a family are as crucial as the gravitational forces between the planets in the solar system. However, we are often unconsciously influenced by these forces because we fail to recognize them.

One of the most important principles in a family system is the Law of Order: everyone in the family should be respected according to their seniority, and everyone should return to their rightful position. Whether intentionally or not, when a family violates the Law of Order, this disorder brings pain and failure until we understand and restore the proper order.

The concept of "respecting seniority" and "everything having its rightful place" was articulated by the great Chinese educator Confucius over two thousand years ago. He believed this was the fundamental basis for a harmonious society. Thus, the Law of Order echoes Confucian ethics and serves as a modern application of these principles. The Law of Order can be demonstrated through systemic constellations, allowing individuals to see and feel the consequences of disorder and the benefits of maintaining proper order. Regardless of whether people acknowledge or ignore its impact, the Law of Order is always at work, and the severe consequences of disorder will repeatedly remind us of its importance.

Through many real-life examples, we begin to recognize the power of the Law of Order, how members of a system influence each other, and whether we are in our proper positions. We learn to observe whether family interactions are orderly and harmonious. Therefore, by learning and applying the Law of Order, recognizing our positions in each relationship, reminding ourselves to return to our rightful places, and learning to transform blind affection into mature love, we can turn failure into success and rediscover happiness. At the same time, understanding the essence of the Law of Order and applying it broadly to interpersonal relationships, the workplace, and organizational structures can help us create a more harmonious and orderly society.

Extracted from “Love and Reconciliation” by Chou Ting Wen

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