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Origins of Entanglement Conflicts
Entanglement conflicts typically arise when there are excluded members within a family system. Exclusion can occur for various reasons:
(1) A family member has experienced something deeply distressing, such as an accident, suicide, serious illness, etc. These events are hard to accept, and as a result, we consciously or unconsciously push them out of our minds.
(2) Some family members engage in actions like misappropriating money, engaging in incestuous or violent behaviors, making false accusations, and more. It can be difficult to accept their behaviors, leading us to mentally exclude them from the family. They hold no standing within the household, and we no longer consider them part of the family.
(3) Some family members, at a very young age, passed away or were sent away, and their rightful place within the family is forgotten or ignored. This is a form of exclusion too.
Resolving Entanglement Conflicts
Esolving entanglement conflicts is a focal point in systemic constellations.
(1) To address entanglement conflicts, it is essential to identify who has been excluded. Who has been left out in this family system? Bringing this person back into our awareness and consciousness is crucial for restoring the family's wholeness.
Typically, the excluded person is someone who has suffered, had an unfortunate fate, experienced accidental death, or has been labeled the black sheep within the family. In the process of systemic constellations, "seeing" this person and separating from the identification with them is key.
A person will be chosen to represent the excluded individual and arranged in the constellation. This allows those who identify with the excluded person to "see" them and acknowledge their fate. Through this act of "seeing," those who identify with the excluded person have the opportunity to disentangle. The excluded individual can also regain respect and their rightful place within the system. This process of seeing, respecting, and restoring their belonging is how identification is resolved.
(2) After years of applying systemic constellations worldwide, it has been discovered that some family entanglement conflicts are highly complex, with many details that remain unknown or hidden. In such cases, the method for resolving entanglement conflicts involves transcending our collective family conscience and awakening each individual's innate spiritual conscience, addressing the unconscious bonds that tie us.
Advanced systemic constellation work requires a high level of awareness from participants and the facilitators. The depth and scope of the constellations are influenced directly by the participants' level of awareness and the facilitators' proficiency.
In the case of entanglement conflicts, the "Law of Wholeness", "Law of Order", and "Law of Truth" within the spiritual conscience become the focus:
1. The law of wholeness requires acknowledging that each individual within the family system has a rightful place and the inherent right to belong, regardless of their actions or life circumstances.
2. The law of order emphasizes respecting the hierarchy of generations, honoring the destiny of elder members without transgressing boundaries, and recognizing and respecting the destinies of all family members.
3. The law of truth demands acknowledgment and acceptance of all facts within the family system without concealing, repressing, fabricating, or ignoring them out of personal desires.
When we awaken our spiritual conscience, respect and understand these laws from the heart, the significant strength of family systems, which was previously manifested as entanglement conflicts, can transform into a powerful source of support and blessings.
Extracted from “Systemic, Family Constellation: Core Principles and Training Practices” by Chou Ting Wen
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