In today's modern era, the call for gender equality has opened doors for women to independently navigate societal norms and embrace lifestyles that were inaccessible to the older generations. While women today are legally entitled to the same rights as men, they continue to encounter numerous hidden obstacles stemming from their inherent physiological conditions and entrenched social and cultural norms. Especially after marriage, achieving a balance between work and family becomes the greatest challenge. Workplace pressures, coupled with partner dynamics, financial planning, and childcare responsibilities, often rock the boat of happiness. In this seemingly open yet restrictive society today, how should women, in particular, transcend the times and walk their own paths? Drawing from numerous real-life cases of systemic constellations, we've assembled the following tips to assist working women in stabilizing their lives and rediscovering happiness:
1. Releasing the Collective Dynamics of Gender Bias for Men
While gender equality is widely acknowledged in society, the lingering collective subconscious bias of male superiority and female inferiority continues to influence many aspects. Leaving aside external inequalities, in the underlying consciousness of many contemporary women, remnants of this bias persist. Whether it's conforming to this collective consciousness or outwardly advocating for women's rights, individuals can still find themselves being pulled by these dynamics, experiencing undeserved treatment, struggling to overcome limitations, and facing attacks or oppression. At such times, releasing the collective dynamics harbored within oneself can reduce and mitigate these situations. Moreover, it allows women to interpret and confront these challenges from different perspectives, gradually transforming existing barriers into support.
2. Embracing Female Identity and Leveraging Feminine Strengths
In the pursuit to compete with men in the workplace, many professional women adopt a mantra: 'Anything men can do, I can do too!' They often forget their inherent feminine qualities, talents, and advantages. Instead, they strive to learn and challenge everything men excel in naturally. The result of this is either presenting oneself as invincible or ending up drained and inefficient. What's worse is being perceived as "one of the guys" by potential partners, delaying the possibility of finding stability. Stop! Stop! Stop! You need to give yourself some space and time to rediscover your innate feminine strengths. Different genders have distinct purposes, and in this era, women can indeed learn from and challenge men. However, it's crucial not to abandon or forget your innate advantages. Smart modern women understand the importance of balancing both realms, embracing male domains while nurturing their inner feminine strengths. In today's era of gender equality, women can greatly benefit by integrating their innate masculine and feminine traits. This harmonization not only simplifies their professional lives but also plays a pivotal role in personal development, overall wellness, and the promotion of strong family bonds.
3. Release Projections, Respect Men, and Let Go of Identifications
Behind many exhausted working women lies a male figure they feel they cannot rely on, perhaps a father they could not trust even before establishing a family. This often directly or indirectly leads to low evaluations of men. Through systemic constellations, it is observed that individuals caught in such circumstances often replicate these patterns through generations. Before seeking systemic constellation to uncover the core reasons, one way to break free is to try to respect men (fathers). Respect creates space, allowing certain responsibilities and obligations to be reorganized, which can lead to different outcomes. Respect also fosters awareness, preventing us from projecting stereotypes onto the workplace or onto men. This prevents us from inadvertently creating enemies or shouldering undue burdens. When respect is present, the responsibilities naturally align and what needs to happen is allowed to happen. By resolving what needs to be resolved, many seemingly insurmountable burdens gradually undergo a transformative process, often unnoticed.
4. Aim for Effort, Not Perfection
We have limited time and space, and doing our best is enough! Many dilemmas arise from the pursuit of perfection, making it impossible to excel in all areas. Those who achieve overall perfection are rare, and the art of life lies in creating balance in limited time and space. Marie Kondo, the renowned Japanese organizing expert and author of "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," recently stated in an interview with The Washington Post that she abandoned her "perfect storage" after having her third child. Tidying up became a secondary goal, as she realized that spending time at home with her children was the most important thing for her. She said, "My house is messy now, but for this stage of my life, this is the most accurate way to spend my time."
"Imperfect, yet balanced and enjoyable" encapsulates the philosophy of living gracefully. Moreover, all the gaps left by imperfection are not devoid of value; rather, they serve as opportunities to savor the present moment and envision the future. Therefore, learning to let go of perfection, allowing oneself some space, is not only a key principle for working women's success but also an excellent positive attitude for anyone facing the relentless flow of life.
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