Her Fear of Darkness

A female participant in her fifties steps onto the stage and shares, "I have an issue. I've been afraid of the dark since I was a child." Teacher Henry: "Darkness can be scary. Ghosts come out of the darkness. In fact, there are many monsters living under your bed. There's a story about a woman who was scared of the dark, especially burglars breaking in. Every evening when she got home, she would check under her bed. If it was empty, she could sleep peacefully. On her 95th birthday, she checked under her bed and found a burglar hiding there. She looked at the burglar and said, 'You finally came.'" Participant: "I want to know where this fear comes from." Teacher Henry: "No, there's no source. It's just a bad habit. When darkness falls, you start to fear, and you create a connection. Have you ever played hide and seek? When you were playing with other kids, were you better at hiding or seeking?" Participant: "I was better at hiding." Teacher Henry: "That's important. When darkness falls, you're better at hiding. You're a master at hiding. Those monsters trying to catch you will be very frustrated because you're so good at hiding. Is your mom afraid of the dark?" Participant: "No one in my family is afraid of the dark, only me. I'm also afraid of snakes." Teacher Henry: "Snakes have venomous fangs and are good at hiding. They can hide behind you where you can't find them. Some men have snakes hiding in their pants, so you can't see them, but fear of snakes is necessary." Participant: "I'm also afraid of corpses. So, I want to find the source of my fear." Teacher Henry: "We always want to find the source, but there's no such thing. We just need solutions. We become who we are today for thousands of reasons, not just one. First, you're afraid of the dark, maybe because you're sad; maybe because you feel abandoned; maybe because you're angry with your mom, and you're afraid to show your anger towards her because you're afraid she'll leave you; maybe because your parents fought at night, and you're afraid they'll split up; maybe some shadow in the dark scared you. There are various possible reasons, or some of these reasons work together. So, stop looking for the source. Look for solutions and look for safety. If someone walks with you in the dark, will you still be afraid? Can you see that scared little girl inside you? Go into your inner self and see that image. That scared little girl? Connect with that feeling. Reflect on the circumstances that evoked such feelings. Simply observe and notice if any specific images or situations come to mind. Under Teacher Henry's guidance, the participant sees the image of what her inner child sees, and it turns out to be about her mom leaving. The teacher then guides the participant to see new images and situations, where this little girl becomes a capable woman to help her mother. This little girl had never been aware of this woman's existence, and she's now ready to see her. She just needs to reach out her hands and tell this grown woman that she's afraid. And then, let this woman tell the little girl, 'I'll always be with you. You're not alone anymore, I'll take care of you like your mom.' You will see the little girl lifting her head, smiling as the sunlight beams upon her face. Can you see it? Can you see trust beginning to grow in her eyes? And then something interesting will happen next. This little girl remembers that her mom always comes back after leaving. Mom comes back to her side, always. Whether her mom is alive or dead doesn't matter because this little girl knows how to find her mom and is capable enough to be independent. This is a powerful solution. Here's your homework: write a trust diary, record who around you sees you as a trustworthy person today. Every time you record, tell your inner child, 'See, I'm trustworthy', and be with your inner child. Go into the darkness together, just for a short time. Tell the little girl that there's a trustworthy person holding her hand, really hold her hand, and 'trust'. Practice this for six weeks.”